Written by BT Balls
Russian Agents are anywhere and everywhere, and Balls understands that the this is no minor predicament. When one cockroach is found, you can be certain that there are hundreds more. This is a national security nightmare, and the gullible cretins in this administration are gathered on the White House lawn singing Kum Ba Yah!
Ready the bomb shelters! Stock up on SPAM and surgical masks! Let the students rehearse “duck and cover” once more! Boris walks among us! The question is not if, but when, the Ruskie nukes will fly! The only hope that stands between our beloved way of life as we know it and armageddon is a massive preemptive attack on the Russian Bear!
My friends, the defense arm of Balls International Industries is at the ready with state-of-the-art weaponry. We can knock that ludicrous fur hat off Putin’s noggin from three thousand miles away with our brand new “Skullcapper” missile! Our BALLS PROTECTOR Armor was voted best body armor by the National Armor Manufacturer/Builder Lobbying Association (NAMBLA) for the third year running! Our expertise in interrogation, re-education (currently utilized in our Company Stooge training program), and private security capabilities makes Blackwater look like pikers!
Read the rest of the article here: The Pigeon Post -- Russian Spies, Shock and Awe
