Rational Critique

Bits and Pieces

Written by John Franklin

A little old lady was leisurely walking through a farmer’s market on a bright, sunny Saturday morning, wearing a baseball cap with ANNA MARIA ISLAND written on the front in bold, capital letters. As she approached one of the vegetable stands, the vendor asked her, “Hi. So where is Anna Maria Island?” Excitedly she replied, “Are you kidding? Are you kidding!” The vendor replied, “No, I’m not kidding. Where is Anna Maria Island?” This sent the gentle, elderly woman into a lengthy discourse on the island’s history, population, location, geography, and whatnot. She was very excited to talk about the island off the coast of Florida.

When finished, she asked the vendor, “But how did you know I was from Ana Maria Island?” With a polite grin and pointing at her forehead, the vendor replied, “It’s written on your baseball cap.” Her eyes grew large, confusion rained onto her face, and then she grabbed the bill of her cap, took it off and turned it to see for herself. “Oh my.” And just as quickly turned and disappeared. Sweet thing she was.

Read the rest of the article here: The Pigeon Post -- Bits and Pieces

Just Sweet

Written by John Franklin

Larissa Riquelme has decided to run naked anyway. Blessed be the girl. The Paraguayan lingerie model has decided that despite her favorite World Cup team taking one in the teeth when those nasty Spaniards beat Paraguay on the way to their first World Cup final ever, she will run naked through the streets of Asuncion as a present to all of the players, and all of the people in Paraguay to enjoy.

Whew, that was a close one. Larissa had promised to run naked if Paraguay had won the World Cup…but they failed! Eliminating all hope for beautiful nakedness jingling and bobbing, up and down, back and forth, a booma booma through the cold, hard streets of Paraguay. But alas poor sailors, we have all been saved by her magnanimous gesture to run naked anyway. Such personal self-sacrifice is an inspiration for all of us. Now we know that the FCC and American broadcasters will not dare air this mini-mini-marathon due to laws on indecency, not to mention the various do-gooder organizations that protect us poor folk from disturbing images and even worse language, like the Parents Television Council.

Read the rest of the article here: The Pigeon Post -- Just Sweet

Canucks Run Amuck on Canada Day, EH!

It’s that most heinous and un-American time of year again: Canada Day! Oh how I rue those wily Canucks with their Socialized Health Care system; their brightly coloured (SP!!) money with a portrait of the Queen; their bastardization of Football; their pronunciation of about (it’s: AH-BOW-T damn it! Not A-BOOT!) and most of all, I rue their bi-lingual impositions for the sake of those dastardly Quebecois (hey dummies; you’re not in France anymore)!!

Being the bastion of Red-Blooded-Americanism that I am, I will not translate this article en francais, because I’m American and I’m gonna write and speak American! If you Canucks don’t like it, go throw on a Joni Mitchell (or Guess Who or Rush or The Tragically Hip) record and suck a hockey puck you Commies to the North!

Ah yes, but this god-fearin’, pinko-canuck-hatin,’ American Patriot has some unfortunate connections to our neighbors to the north (I use the term neighbor just like I do at home: get off my land — one warning shot and that’s it). For you see, my step-father was once a resident of Canada having been married to a Canuck back in the 70s (I’ve been told The Great White North doesn’t apply only to Canada’s latitude).

...Read the rest of the article here: The Pigeon Post - Canucks Run Amuck